Hope putting your foot down has a lingering effect. I feel for him . I really do but you don't have to put up with being talked to that way. If it was dementia or something he couldn't control, it would be a different story but, it isn't! (I sound too much like a therapist, don't I? U want to sound like a friend who lives you both!)

I surely get the 'scared' part. We are here for you 100%!